There's so many things that we're not.
Friday, August 27, 2010, 1:41 PM
Nowadays, nothing means anything.
Nowadays, my favourite words seem to be nothing, annoying and useless. Idk, I just, yeah, all I can say is, nowadays, these are what I feel.
I can barely feel a thing. And, I feel really stupid. Because I'm supposed to be getting rid of all these feelings, but instead, I drown in deeper into them. Which is exactly what I'm not supposed to be doing. Then why exactly is it in my dictionary as to why I'm feeling like that? I tell you frankly, I don't know. Pressure? Maybe?
Let's just say, it's practically pointless to think that everything has a resolution. Nothing has one, in fact. It just goes on and on. Even if you finally managed to solve the current problem, there is always a second chance that it'll come back.
Life goes round and round, and when it's finally time, it'll come back to you. I've noticed.
Alright. So. Last night, I slept kinda, later than usual. Cause today got hist test. Then I was studying for the test. And I ended up sleeping late. Lol. Then today, went back to schl, feel like sleeping. And I honestly wanted to zzz. Lol. Especially after bangbang started talking.
I was like, "Walao, I want study @ home.". Lol. Cause the class was honestly noisy, and that freaking bangbang was talking and talking. Zzz.
In the end, I think I screwed up both of my test. Haix. :( I really want study liao manszx. I mean, yeah, I really need to study. Or I'll really screw up my EOYs la. Eeyer.
And then, Jong was saying, "I got this friend who hates her life." Which I doubt she was talking about me. But, honestly, my mind was thinking "I'm one."
Everyone definitely has a part of their lives that they want to erase. And as for mine, I want to erase everything. Even my birth. I'm sick of living.
/edit.
So, I'm back after an extra long day outside. Went out for dental just now. Well, just know that I can actually eat w/ the retainers on. Good then. I don't need to waste time taking it out, and putting it back on. Just eat liddat. Very good. Lol.
Then after that, hmm, idk, went to uh, some places. And then, uh, went for dinner, then dropped dad off at home, went to fairprice and bought groceries. Had a lot of fun, actually. Hahaha, it's been a long time since I've had so much fun w/ mom. Surprised, yes.
And then, uh, yeah, laughed alot. I'm surprised myself. Lol. I want buy shooooes. Zzz.
我受够了。你们自会把我当成是透明的，你真的以为我不知道吗？我什么都懂。我只是不想说而已啊。我没有那么笨。我真的受够了。你们只会带来痛苦，没有什么是真心的。那么，我也不理了。This is how far I'll go. If you really do need me, just tell me. But in the meanwhile, I don't think I want to stay here forever. It ain't worth my time. I ought to be working on something more important than this fuckshit. Assholes, it's time the real csy comes back. It's time you all stop taking me for granted. Even if this is not the fucking time, I'll make sure it is. I will. Just you wait.
Ps. Nothing can save me from where I am right now.