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It's not too late, it's never too late.
Thursday, July 15, 2010, 5:50 PM


But, today was different. Idk why, but the atmosphere, was different. And I gotta admit. I've found the cost of my pain. Idk what exactly is wrong, but schl's the ACTUAL cost of my pain. Idk why, ever since schl had reopened, I've been feeling indifferent to everything.

I don't know whether it's because of the screwed up timetable or anything, but it's really fucked up now. Life, is fucked up. Real fucked up, I mean. Okay, yes, 3 fucks in a row. (Well, that makes it four. LOL.)

But I'm dead serious about what I just wrote yeah? Well, at lease, that's what I thought it is. Schl's really fucked up now. And with everything just rushing, idk how other people are taking this, but (idc whether you think I'm taking it too hard or whatever crap,) this is what's causing everything now.

It's like, a rush of stress. I don't even know how they do it to be like that. By "they", I mean by the teachers. I hate them, and I'm serious. Every single one of them.

And you (don't) know how I always say that my heart is bleeding. But now that I think about it, how could it bleed when it's not even there? Why don't you explain it? I don't think you can, because even I - the owner of my feelings - can't explain it.

I don't know, I didn't mention this before, but I feel unsafe. I don't know why I'm typing all these now. It's not supposed to be here. Do I really want to be heard? DO I?!

As I'm writing this, I'm thinking of so many things already. Things that were thought before alrd. But after everything that has happened, it triggered my mind again. I don't want to be that emo self again. I have finally broke off from it, and I don't have any plans of going back.

But what can I do? It feels as if it was wrong after getting a changed perspective from SK. Why? Is it actually wrong? Or am I seeing things differently? Differently, I meant by worst.

Idk what is wrong, I want to know, but on the other hand, I don't want to. Because sometimes, things'll be better when you don't know about them.

Now you see why I hate life? It's screwed up.

Ps. Post about schl coming up.

brave heart.



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