Ignorance is your new best friend.
Thursday, July 22, 2010, 5:36 PM
81st post. :) Anyway. I'm back to vent. Yeah, I've been having a lot of things to vent about. I don't even know why. I feel like my life's destroyed by schl. By everything. It was said that the second half of the year would be better. But to me, it seems like it's getting worst instead of better.
Rock songs seems to get back to me. And I don't seem to be getting headaches anymore. Why? Is there something wrong? But at the same time, I like acoustics ALOT. I don't know why. :( Actually there something wrong w/ a love for mixture?
Anyway. Why I'm actually back to rant? There's actually a lot of reasons. But, yeah. I'll just try to think of afew and type them out. I actually can't really remember why. But I feel like my life's fucked up. (There, the F for today.)
But. You know what? I suddenly feel very ashamed by my actions. I shouldn't be blogging all these rantings, and eventually get concern tags. I shouldn't be doing all these. I shouldn't be writing about how fucked up my life is.
So I'm only trying to say that, I'm only ranting. I really don't have means to get concern or anything. Please don't read. If you really think that I'm only trying to get pity. Won't want what happened last year to happen again.
I think I've went back to my shell again.
You know how they always say that in a group, there is always something that sticks out? I'm like that. I'm always the one that sticks out, no matter in what group I belong to. No, I don't quite give a damn. But sometimes, it irritates me. I mean, yeah. Do you like the feeling that you get when you're left down in a conversation?
That's how I feel all the time.
But I guess that's how life is. Or at lease, that's how my life is. That's how it treats me. How nice eh?
But, I know this is something that not only I'm experiencing. But truly, why does that person have to not belong? Why? Can't the world just let everyone be belonging? It's as if we're not supposed to exist in this world. Is that what it is? That we don't belong? That's insane, you know that?
Everything hurts now. Even my best friend can't tell it. Wow. But my moodswings, they've gotten more serious now. Crap, yes. But still.
Must everyone be disbelonging? We have to belong to this world if we want to exist. But if it's that hard to exist, why am I here? I don't want to be. I don't have a choice. But we're supposed to live with it. Thing is, I don't want to. Must I? Unfortunately, yes, I have to.
What a bitch life. Pity me, go ahead. Wtfook. Everything's going wrong. Everything... is a mistake from now on.
Ps. "No. In the end, everything matters."